tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23178601786543534462024-03-14T00:24:38.614-07:00Quiet Thoughts Forget about wrinkles...they are just antique smiles.
~L. Chatterjee Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-53517364256183708432017-02-11T12:42:00.000-08:002017-02-11T08:18:50.712-08:00Where is the Christian Love?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I grew up Catholic. I believe I was a good Catholic. I found strength from the rituals of the church and wanted to do my best to be a good person. I went to mass EVERY Sunday and more often if I could. I was crazy about confession. If I had any guilt about an action, I went to confession. I even sat out on communion many times feeling guilty for ill thoughts of others, sexual interest, minor lies, etc. I didn't follow every rule perfectly, but for the most part, I think I was a decent Catholic. Today, I am not Catholic. In fact, I am no longer Christian. But, I value the years I was both and hold them close to my heart. They will always be a part of who I am today. <br />
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So, what happened to that "good girl"? Three major events happened in my early twenties. <br />
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1. <b>I got married</b>. As I attempted to explain Catholicism to my husband, I began questioning many things. My whole life I had followed rituals and beliefs without really knowing why.<br />
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2. <b>I went to college.</b> Not just college, but a Catholic college. It was there that I learned college is a place to expand your thinking, to see outside your own walls. Have you ever had a life experience that stuck with you forever and you can see yourself at the moment, even years later? The expectation to expand my thinking by professors/nuns that I respected was one of those moments for me. A Catholic college education is also where I learned that using birth control is not an abortion every day as I was told growing up. Phew! I can still see myself in that biology class feeling the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. <br />
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3. <b>As I moved into my career as an elementary teacher, I was placed in a low income elementary school </b>where for the first time in my life I understood that my life experiences were very middle class and very different from those of my students. Later, as an educator to adult immigrants and refugees, I continued learning about people of the world. There is still so much I don't understand but my experience has been that no matter what your religion or lack of, your heart can be full of love.<br />
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I've been religion-free now for almost 30 years. I feel that as I left the church I started thinking for myself instead of relying on what the church told me was right and wrong. <b>What were </b><u><b>my</b></u><b> core values? What responsibilities as a fellow citizen of the world would </b><i><b><u>I</u></b></i><b> be responsible for?</b> It may surprise many, but the further I got from the church, the better person I became. Without the rules of a church to follow, I had to create my own rules and obligations. A lesson repeated often by my dad became one that has best served me, "put yourself in someone else's shoes,"<br />
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For almost 30 years now I have been completely fine doing my own thing religiously while respecting and often defending the beliefs and actions of my Christian family and friends. Then the Presidential elections began. As Trump became more popular and the threat of him becoming the nominee seemed more possible, my heart kept telling me that Christians would not support him, especially the Christians I know. Sure, he was spouting out issues that were important to them, but hell, they are Christians. I trusted that they would choose love of all God's children rather than sell themselves to the devil in order to end abortion. In my heart I knew they would choose someone who supported "love they neighbor as thyself." and would reject the hateful tactics of Trump. Then I started seeing posts on social media and heard conversations showing support for Trump. I felt betrayed. Could all the warm fuzzy feelings I had growing up with religion just be a scam? My heart is saying "yes" but my mind is saying "no". I don't know. <i><u><b>Please know that I do realize not all Christians support Trump,</b></u> b</i>ut I think I relied on the values of Christians as a group more than I thought I did and that is where the conflict in my heart is stemming from. As news of $14 billion being set aside to build a wall and a travel ban on refugees from seven Muslim countries being fought in court, I find myself searching for Christians that are standing out against such shameful behavior. For some reason <i>I need</i> to know they are there. I need to know the idea I have created in my heart and mind about Christians is true. Pope Francis is of course a remarkable person who I find an educator of love for all. I also found a priest on Facebook recently and my heart began fluttering in happiness. He is my first sign that I was not misled years ago. However, the hateful comments he receives on his page from Christians is appalling. Overall, I have found that my friends of little faith seem to be the ones I turn to when I need to hear words of love. <br />
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I am not writing this post as a way of bashing Christians, although I do realize it sounds that way, but instead as a way of working out my thoughts on why I hold Christians up to such a strong code of conduct when I am not even one and why I now feel so disappointed. Since the night I sat with my children and watched the election results, my heart and mind just haven't been able to grasp hold of why I am so angry. Is it because I have spent my entire career trying to build bridges between students and was deeply shocked that racism is still so prevalent in a group that claims to love all God's creatures? Is it because I am part of a health advocacy group and know first hand what happens with and without healthcare and can't imagine why loving people would be okay knowing others are suffering? Is it because immigrants and refugees are my livelihood and I have never found people so caring and capable of putting negative events in their life aside to build a new life for their families? Is it because I held Christians up to a higher standard than I have held myself? I don't know. Maybe it isn't Christians I am disappointed in, but like many who hold refugees and immigrants at fault for our problems, I am doing the same now with Christians. I have a lot of soul searching to do because overall I am disappointed in our country and especially in our Republican representatives for supporting a man who thrives on spreading fear and hate. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-71034376180323019622017-02-11T07:47:00.000-08:002017-02-11T08:20:35.771-08:00Republican Administration, what's the Plan? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Our current chief commander made many promises during his campaign. While I don't agree with them <u>at all</u>, I understand why he and the rest of the Republican Administration want to follow through on their promises. Elections do have consequences, unfortunately in this case. But what is the plan? So far, it seems like everything being done with such urgency, but little to no thought. In his acceptance speech, the man in charge promised to bring our country together. However, he and the rest of the Republican Administration have done the extreme opposite. For weeks we heard that the Affordable Care Act (aka ObamaCare) was going to be dismantled. Republicans told us not to panic until we heard what the plan was. Not panic? Millions depend on this for lifesaving medications and treatments. I personally rely on it for preexisting conditions that would financial destroy my family and for insurance for my young adult children. Why threaten to begin dismantling something that you have no plan for or if you do, have not released for citizens to compare and know that their country is supporting them?<br />
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Along with removing ACA, the Republican Administration wants to remove access to birth control and end abortion. What??? Okay, I get wanting to end abortion. I do. But what is the plan for the woman who gets pregnant? Will abortions just end because it is illegal? Does the Republican Administration have families ready to adopt or will these children be brought into a world where they aren't wanted and eventually turn to crime? If you sincerely want to end abortion or at the very least reduce the numbers, why not continue educating the young on birth control? This one makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. A family member told me it is easy, "just don't have sex". I would like to stop eating also so that I don't continue gaining weight, but unfortunately as a living being I was designed to both eat and reproduce. Those impulses are not easily restrained. Plus, the reasons young girls have sex is way more complicated than "just don't have sex". A comment such as this is inexcusable and super unsympathetic to the issues young teens/women endure on a daily basis in their homes, schools, work places, etc. <br />
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The man that is now leading our country promised to ban Muslims from the US while campaigning and then followed through on a ban of seven countries with no more thought than what he plans to have for dinner. My Republican House Representative Peter Roskam wrote back to me saying, "<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;">President Trump’s
executive order was not perfect, and it is unfortunate that it caught up some
innocent travelers." Um, no. It was more than just "unfortunate". Families were torn apart. Jobs were left unattended. Cars were left at airports. Visas were put in jeopardy of expiring. Travelers faced potentially being sent back to countries that would kill them. This is more than "unfortunate". We are now spending almost $15 billion to build a wall (maintenance costs will add to this bill) that shows the world we are bullies when we can't afford to help citizens with health insurance, educations, improve the lives of vets, etc, etc. We already have walls and fences, this is purely a sign to the world that we no longer accept those different than ourselves. Again, where is the plan? Deportations have begun. What happens to the children left behind, apartments/houses that are being rented and owned, jobs that are now unfilled? Will American citizens out of work pick up and move to California to begin working on farms? Most likely not. Why? There is no plan. The plan will have to come when we can no longer pay for groceries or other goods. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;">Let's stop and put some thought into what is happening to our country. Let's not just react, but actually talk with experts on both sides of the fence and make decisions that truly benefit our country. We are not bullies. We are not a country that hates. We are the greatest country in the world. Let's act like it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;"> </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-83366715729654972492016-12-24T08:15:00.000-08:002016-12-24T08:15:48.879-08:00Enjoying Christmas Traditions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's Christmas Eve. I am up early attempting my first tiramisu. I like trying new recipes at Christmas. I am excited for today and tomorrow. My kiddos will be all mine. School is finished, work is closed, and friends are busy with their own families. This is our time together as a family. One that I cherish deeply and realize may change in the future as they create their own families.<br />
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Living 700+ miles away from my extended family, we made the choice to stay home for Christmas when my daughter was three years old. Traveling over Christmas was always hectic. The kids didn't like being in car seats, they always had to become reacquainted with family at a time that people were also shoving gifts at them and expecting them to be happy, and with both of our parents divorced, we had multiple houses to visit. It was more stress than pleasure. Instead, we created our own traditions. Every Christmas Eve we have spent baking and preparing for Christmas day. We plan one special event for Christmas Eve. In the past we have made gingerbread houses, went ice-skating in Chicago, visited the Museum of Science and Industry for their Christmas trees around the world, bowling, and more recently we have started eating out on Christmas Eve. Then we come back and the kids open their gifts from one another. It is simple, but enjoyable. On Christmas morning we get up to see what Santa has brought, eat breakfast and finish opening gifts. When the kids were young, we spent the entire day playing with them and their new toys.<br />
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We have created wonderful traditions. Yet, as the kids get older, those traditions are challenged. Will they be happy with just the four of us? Do I need to come up with some other activity to keep them excited? As a mother, I see my precious two days as a family more important than ever because I know it may not always be this way. I want our traditions to be something they always look forward to and will eventually want their own partners and children to take part in. But I also want to keep an open mind to the changes that will occur in the coming years. I want my children to know that being with them is what really matters. Seeing their faces light up, sharing a meal together, or just sitting together is all that really matters in the end.<br />
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This year, I get to enjoy another year of tradition. Both kids will be home today to help put together our traditional Christmas burritos. My son will be sleeping at home tonight after we go out to eat. I love knowing both kids are snug in their own beds. I have been reminded that we need fruit for the morning in it's special Christmas bowl, a wonderful reminder to me that they still enjoy the traditions we have made together. In the morning, we will wake up as usual and see what Santa has brought. I don't know what next year will bring but today and tomorrow, I am planning to soak in as much of my family together as I possibly can. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-67795067542664340722016-12-14T07:04:00.000-08:002016-12-14T07:04:29.465-08:00Lesson Learned<br />
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One of the fascinating things about aging is that while each experience is unique, there is also some form of repetitiveness to each one. Having been through similar situations time and again, you get it. You can easily predict what the outcome will be. <b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
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For the last nine years, my border collie and I have walked through frigid temperatures and blizzards. This is her time of the year. She may opt out of walking on a warm summer day, but never during the winter. In fact, she will sometimes lay down during a walk just to eat snow and enjoy the cold snow on her belly. Most of our walk is on shoveled or partially shoveled paths, but we have one long stretch through our neighborhood park where the snow is NEVER plowed. At times it has been up to my knees. Izzy hasn't cared. In fact, I think she has always enjoyed the challenge. It might be an exhausting physical accomplishment for me, but she has always bounced through the snow with gusto. <br />
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This is the entry. </div>
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The walk continues</div>
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But yesterday when my almost ten year old Izzy and I hit this open area on our walk, she stopped. I could see her thinking. (It's lovely to see her mind working.) She looked up at me for a second as if to tell me she had made a decision and then turned around. Our walk would not include this path. Like me, she has hit that place in her life where she knows what she is getting into, and it was as if she remembered what a workout this part of the walk could be and said, "I am not up to it anymore." To be truthful, I was relieved. I was seriously dreading this part of our walk. We had between 8-10 inches of snow and this path is often tricky not only because it isn't shoveled, but because so many have stepped on it already and those footprints have frozen over. She has gotten to an age where when she lays down, she groans like I do. She isn't a puppy anymore. Life has given her enough experience to know she doesn't need that type of physical workout anymore. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-28109499419293980672016-09-19T12:31:00.001-07:002016-09-19T12:35:39.046-07:00Leaving a Piece of Heart Behind<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last weekend I tearfully said "good-bye" to the Ford Freestyle I have had for eleven years and 175,000 miles. Crazy, huh? My husband had gone earlier in the day to get the details on the VW I have been eyeing for some time and reported back that my Ford valued at $250. That's fine Kelly's Blue Book, but my heart values that car as so much more.<br />
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As we were signing papers for my new car, I could see my blue Freestyle outside the window. I choked back tears as the memories flooded through my mind. My kids have been raised in that car. Eleven years means my kids were nine and seven when we purchased this vehicle. Now they each have their own car. As we lifted up the seats there were years of crumbs and evidence of times my teens took the car out with friends. Dog fur showed the numerous times Izzy and I have gone to forest preserves, vet appointments, or her favorite - Starbucks. She loves those puppuccinos. We have taken family vacations, camped, and loaded our bikes up for family bike rides. My heart was remembering all the times the kids had friends in the car or talked to each other and I was able to just listen as I drove. I remembered picking up our border collie in this car and the kids and I laughing all the way home. Both kids learned how to drive with me in this car. My daughter and I have had heated arguments while sitting on the seats of this car but some of our best conversations have been after pulling over in a Starbucks parking lot, crying, talking, and working things out. Memories of all the homeschool events we attended over the years rushed through my head as well as the first time I dropped my daughter off for a high school event and she told me to stay in the car because she could handle it alone. I could see her in the driver's seat as she chauffeured five other friends to their spring dance. She was so beautiful in her formalwear. I remembered all the hours my son and I drove together, the involved conversations we've had, and the years we shared the car making each other's schedule work. It's also the car I have used as my "mobile office". Since I teach several of my classes off-site, this car has stored everything I need for class. I've loaded and unloaded more books than I can count. We have picked up numerous people from the airport and had lots of fun adventures with family in this car.<br />
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It's been a long time coming for a new car. We planned to purchase a new one for me a few years back but instead got the kids a car to share. Then we planned on it again, but my job became unstable. Honestly, we have let the car go. When one of my children broke the driver's side mirror off for a second time, we decided the car wasn't worth the expense of replacing it and I had a very interesting "conversational piece" attached mirror for months. The tires were completely bald to the point I worried about driving on the highway. Every time I drove it I whispered, "Please let the brakes work a little longer." It needed new shocks and more. But as we drove away, I felt a little sad for my friend. It was old. It had lived it's life and provided well for us. But I also felt sad for myself. It was like leaving a piece of my heart behind.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-16506897753116736112016-08-31T04:58:00.000-07:002016-08-31T04:58:59.077-07:00My Purpose<a href="http://www.chopra.com/ccl/the-law-of-dharma-or-purpose-in-life"><i>Deepak Chopra</i></a><i> says, "Everyone has a purpose in life . . . a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal."</i><br />
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My adult education students come to class for a variety of reasons. Some are there to improve their language as English language learners, others want to improve their reading skills, some are working towards their high school equivalency exams, and a handful come due to a court mandate. My students are special because for many of them, previous school experiences weren't kind to them. That is why I feel I have been given a very unique job, but also one that matches well with who I am. Not only am I able to help my students with learning the academic skills they want to acquire, but my personal gifts allow them to feel safe and comfortable. And the amazing thing is that the gift I share with my students as they come to class worried they won't be able to keep up, scared that their lack of knowledge in academia will be exposed, or reliving all their past insecurities is that what I give them tends to stay long term. <br />
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The beginning of the school year always brings students I have had in the past dropping by my classroom for hugs or standing in the hallways waving. After their first days with their new teachers, they share that they had good experiences, but it is me that is forever in their hearts for being patient with them, showing them kindness, and helping them find their unique way of learning. I hear over and over, "You are very special Teacher." Sometimes it seems simple to me, but when I have student after student share how I have made a difference, I know it isn't simple to everyone. For me, it is natural. It is the gift I bring to the world. I don't always have the fantastic amount of information in my head as other teachers I admire, but that isn't what I bring to the classroom. I bring calm. I allow students time to figure out how they learn best, and to realize that mistakes are there to learn from. My goal is always to find my students' strengths. Sometimes it takes a bit of work, but once I see them seeing it in themselves, my heart wants to burst with happiness.<br />
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The first week of classes is always crazy busy with paperwork and testing but it is also my reminder that I am where I am for a reason. I have found what I am good at and it benefits many people. And best of all, by sharing my unique gift, I receive so much love back.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-30785752541613697482016-07-30T09:41:00.003-07:002016-07-30T09:41:57.707-07:00Life Doesn't Let You Get Too Comfortable<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbUK3F30F6jhdM26IE636i9FgMc1ROIiwd8u7mKxr5YnpFrkB0YJ-1AOqKKMQ1OftVOk6LSffmLbInS2KiFSgORLD5N9rRlAF1808_BkHlCLsytQaVvnjKJGLwjbaVulMA-iPp-zq8wMo/s1600/change.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbUK3F30F6jhdM26IE636i9FgMc1ROIiwd8u7mKxr5YnpFrkB0YJ-1AOqKKMQ1OftVOk6LSffmLbInS2KiFSgORLD5N9rRlAF1808_BkHlCLsytQaVvnjKJGLwjbaVulMA-iPp-zq8wMo/s400/change.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Life never lets you get completely comfortable, does it? For the last 15 years I have been working as adjunct faculty for two community colleges teaching adult education (English as a Second Language and Adult Basic Education). I LOVE it! I love the variety of students I am able to meet, the small but important lessons I am able to share, learning new things myself, and being surrounded by colleagues who want to make this a better world for everyone. The problem? Due to a screwed up state budget, both schools have cut their programs. I am now facing a year of 50% of the classes I have had for many years. Unfortunately, our family does depend on my income which means I need to get serious about finding a new full time job or finding a part time job to supplement my teaching jobs. <br />
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In addition to teaching adult education for the last 15 years, I have been busy raising my kids. I've always been passionate about motherhood. While the kids still need me on occasion, they are growing up. Between my job slowly dissolving and my kids growing up, I feel like I'm in limbo. What's next for me? It's a scary uncertain time. I want my next phase of life to be just as rewarding as the previous one has been but have no idea what my skills allow me to do. Plus, once you've been in a position of helping people as a career, it is pretty hard to give that up.<br />
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As I slowly prepare my heart and mind for a new job, I know what I don't want. I don't want to go back to public education. Teaching fifth grade was a lot of work and I don't have the energy for it anymore. I don't want to be stuck in an office working on a computer all day. I cringe every time I try to see myself there. I like variety. I also have a few things I want. After twenty some years of teaching, I want to continue helping others. I love that part of my life. I love knowing that I have helped many students who have been away from school for many years feel comfortable and component. Also, after working odd hours for so long, I'd like a regular schedule that also comes with benefits, something I haven't had as adjunct faculty.<br />
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Each morning I wake up and ask for guidance on where I am supposed to be. I search different career sites and try to see myself in different jobs. So far, nothing. I know there is a place for me and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be long before I see myself in a place designed for my unique gifts and I can continue contributing to our family income while also making a small dent in a better world. <br />
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I am curious, how have you transitioned into a new phase of life? Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-73782101576364002972016-07-22T06:01:00.002-07:002016-07-22T06:05:42.736-07:00My Calm is Moving Out<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDNY8ieO0otpyF9pl0IpC_nmLxzUN04Ak_NtPZncepEmHq-glyq0gRwrz0ivv56ZiPT1uyw0QHhnWMR6azmzf3b9mmU8JZfo-TA4W6YvJ4_zdggaw-uRmiV0cVVgnNSpzjiPUneDkC1Ok/s1600/kids+leave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDNY8ieO0otpyF9pl0IpC_nmLxzUN04Ak_NtPZncepEmHq-glyq0gRwrz0ivv56ZiPT1uyw0QHhnWMR6azmzf3b9mmU8JZfo-TA4W6YvJ4_zdggaw-uRmiV0cVVgnNSpzjiPUneDkC1Ok/s320/kids+leave.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
My oldest is picking up keys today to an apartment he will share with his girlfriend. We have had many discussions about his moving out and I thought I was in a good place. I am so proud of how he has thought through the many scenarios of how this move will effect him. That is hard to do when you are in love. He has had ups and downs about moving and I think has come to a mostly happy place, although leaving home is of course a big change for anyone. But, I've been happy for him. Actually, I have been excited for him. Until now. Even though he hasn't even taken his stuff yet, the house feels empty of his spirit. <br />
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My son is the calm of this house. Whatever is going on, even if it is him I am upset with, it is he who I need to be around. He radiates a sense of calm. He listens and gives a tiny bit of advice. He hugs me. He reminds me so much of the calm I felt with my dad. There aren't many people in the word like them. <br />
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Last night we discussed how this is just a new phase and we will have to figure out a new way of making our relationship work. We've been making those adjustments through every stage of his growth. The difference now is he won't be here every day. I already miss standing by the coffee pot as he makes his coffee, having deep discussions. I already miss the lessons I have learned from him on being more open minded. And, I can't wait until Sunday night when he is here for dinner. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-48863118617863841782016-06-17T07:24:00.001-07:002016-06-17T07:24:51.354-07:00Parenthood: The Tables are Turning<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-JP5zGKMZMElFw1bkOO-ubYj5vgr7A6RA1MTLn2MZXSry1e35ATZsKRr482ksysJ98lfkk6CdcuB3cPnDS013LrSIzP5Ite7HLhPqgoVRT4pFPMLE_D-JKIspZeXul_ZBCCBFBRaqGE/s1600/growing+up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-JP5zGKMZMElFw1bkOO-ubYj5vgr7A6RA1MTLn2MZXSry1e35ATZsKRr482ksysJ98lfkk6CdcuB3cPnDS013LrSIzP5Ite7HLhPqgoVRT4pFPMLE_D-JKIspZeXul_ZBCCBFBRaqGE/s320/growing+up.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
When my kids were young, my daughter would call me on my way home from the evening class I taught. We talked until I was in the neighborhood. When I pulled up in the drive-way, both my son and daughter were standing on the porch jumping up and down in excitement that I was home after being gone for five short hours. They would both run to the car and hug me tight. Their pure genuine joy in seeing me is the most fulfilled as a person I have ever felt. Pulling up in the drive-way, I knew 100% I was meant to be on this earth.<br />
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As my children are transforming into young adults, the tables have turned a bit. It is now me waiting excitedly for them to come home. With their busy schedules of school, work, and friends, I don't see them that often. Sometimes that is fine, because living with young adults who have life figured out can sometimes be a struggle. But, I am and will always be their momma. So, as their evenings out become later and later, I wake up constantly as I once did when they were very young, "Are they okay? Do they need me?" I am trying really hard to just stay in bed repeating, "You've raised them well. They will make good choices," because if I get up and they aren't home at what I consider "a reasonable hour", I go into panic mode and sleep will not come again. I ask them to please at least send a text that they are safe which is getting better, but sometimes forgotten. So when the hour finally arrives that I hear the front door open and those familiar steps tromp up to bedrooms, my heart wants to jump up and down in pure delight that they are home. As children they could share their excitement in seeing me, I don't dare show mine because I know they need their space and my jumping out of bed to embrace them will only make them feel watched and judged. They made it home. That's all that matters to me. In the morning (wait, who am I kidding, they won't be awake until afternoon), I can shower them with love and let them know how happy and honored I am to have them in my life. <br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-14715860731750232712016-06-11T06:58:00.002-07:002016-06-11T06:58:45.114-07:00Happy 28th Anniversary!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_MWArrU0DmsU7CAN2UqaPVCx3K7XIw6Ty3B4e3rIaDyXt_JS0_Cvk5cAPg3MHA9xoacYmHef9yokCM5ftbrqYDfMxqMUcG27SWOuA-tNwT0SFvkOjxZMb6mvmRnXBq1jGCdtO-HLppPs/s1600/IMG_7257+%25281%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_MWArrU0DmsU7CAN2UqaPVCx3K7XIw6Ty3B4e3rIaDyXt_JS0_Cvk5cAPg3MHA9xoacYmHef9yokCM5ftbrqYDfMxqMUcG27SWOuA-tNwT0SFvkOjxZMb6mvmRnXBq1jGCdtO-HLppPs/s320/IMG_7257+%25281%2529.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
28 years ago today, at the very young age of 20, I said "I do" to my best friend. While we both work hard at our relationship, it has never seemed especially hard. Together, we have grown up, encouraged each other, and learned from each other. We had eight years together before starting our family and as things start to come full circle, we find our children gone most of the time and things centered back to just the two of us. Sometimes it is sad because our kids are so much of our lives, but at other times, it is really fun to focus back on just the two of us. Feeling very lucky today!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-35834232028195269532016-05-19T05:40:00.003-07:002016-05-19T05:40:29.697-07:00Body Image During Menopause<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember sitting at our neighborhood pool in my late
thirties, early forties thinking this is “the BEST” age to be a woman. As I looked around at all the women at the
pool, my eyes were drawn first to young teenagers with perfect bodies. They were busy fixing their swimsuits just so
wondering if they were too fat, too skinny, too pale, or whatever else teens
think their bodies are “too ________”. I
knew they would one day look back at their teen pictures and be amazed at how
beautiful they were even if they couldn’t see it now. Then I noticed the women
my age. They walked confidently in their
swimsuits chasing after kids aware that they had stretch marks, cellulite, and bits
of chubbiness here and there. Somehow
they seemed confident in their bodies knowing that they had changed physically,
mentally, and emotionally due to childbirth, jobs, and the aging process. As I
lounged on my chair, I too felt confident in my body. It wasn’t perfect, but it held up well despite
rheumatoid arthritis taking a stab at it each and every day. I was eating well,
exercising when I could and it had paid off. I was satisfied, maybe even a
little proud of the body I had.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then came new medications and the beginning stages of
menopause. Almost immediately after
starting Enbrel, I got my physical life back in addition to 15 extra
pounds. Feeling good, I added on hours
to my work schedule which also increased my time sitting. Over the last five years or so, I have put on
another 10 pounds. I wish I could say I
am okay with it, but I am not. I have become that person that cringes when I
see photos of myself. When I look at
myself in the mirror, I see a strong woman who has raised two beautiful
children, been a good wife of 28 years, a patient/loving teacher, and struggled
with rheumatoid arthritis for 12 years.
I don’t see the fat until I see a photo of myself or a pair of “big”
pants become too tight. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From what I have read, I am not alone in body image issues
when transitioning into menopause. Many
women experience extra fat, especially in the stomach, as they make the change.
I wish knowing that I wasn’t alone made
me feel better, but it doesn’t. Some
days I feel six months pregnant with engorged breasts (yes, those have grown
too). When I was thirty years old, that was exciting. At 48, it isn’t. I don’t know what the answer is. Some days I
work really hard to focus on everything that is beautiful about my physical
body and find some success. Other days,
I feel hopeless. Why even try? It doesn’t seem to matter what I eat or how much
I move. But, I don’t want to look at
photos with my family and see only my size, I have too many of those where I can
see the pain I felt from RA that day. I want our photos to represent the fun,
pride, excitement of the day. I wish I knew the answer. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Help! How do you deal with body image? </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-3380294116343476592016-05-17T08:56:00.001-07:002016-05-17T08:56:51.592-07:00Letting Go: Graduation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7RxPk9J6QV9l0d7WlPK-Y_Vk81odxSKlupZklhwfn2ZnW7reuEj4M_cNr8hXartsRTtYVb9ehmWaVrFXiUsN2VnUhePa1WRLyiwKvTzZ5T71g49dIMBc_j2OcRU7_Di2AL_Dim9XsFnQ/s1600/grad.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7RxPk9J6QV9l0d7WlPK-Y_Vk81odxSKlupZklhwfn2ZnW7reuEj4M_cNr8hXartsRTtYVb9ehmWaVrFXiUsN2VnUhePa1WRLyiwKvTzZ5T71g49dIMBc_j2OcRU7_Di2AL_Dim9XsFnQ/s320/grad.JPG" width="196" /></a></div>
Tomorrow night my youngest graduates.I don't feel overly sad or sentimental. I know this is an important milestone in her life - one of many she will still experience.In fact, a part of me feels relief. For some time now she has outgrown high school and I can see her wings ready to take off to the next adventure.This is one of the many things I love about this girl. She embraces change and the experiences she gains from them. She has always been the one to challenge my ability to let go. She is independent, something I want but that I also struggle with often. I want her to think and act for herself, but also don't always know how to give up control.(Being a mom is a never-ending learning experience.) But she has learned a valuable lesson I taught her at an early age, "You know your body best." And she does. As she graduates and makes her way into the world, she will make mistakes which will make her stronger and lead her down the paths she was meant to travel. She will bring her beautiful smile everywhere she goes, brightening the lives of all those around her - that is one of her special gifts to the world. She will make a difference.That I am 100% sure of. Knowing this makes letting go that much easier. I know I HAVE to share her with the world. But as lucky as all those who meet my passionate daughter will be, I know she will always come back home to her momma in some manner. I know this because she has taught me to let her go as she has been ready and because I have, I have placed myself in a very safe place in her heart where she knows I am here for her no matter what life brings. I am her forever mom. After tomorrow night, she becomes a free woman. I can't wait to set her free and see what she can do! Be on the lookout because pure amazement in being released.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-16582668174522097312016-05-02T07:00:00.000-07:002016-05-02T07:00:07.918-07:00Working as Adjunct FacultyAs adjunct faculty for two Adult Education programs, I worry every semester whether or not I will have enough classes to pay my portion of the bills. Living in a state with no budget, that fear has intensified. Each semester I patiently wait to see when, where, and what I will be teaching and then cross my fingers that I have enough students to keep my class for the semester. I also do this with absolutely no benefits. As adjunct, I am always considered part-time.<br />
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Why have I put myself through this torture roughly every 16 weeks for 15 years? The answer is simple: I absolutely LOVE my job. There is an energy to being on a campus full of students ready to make dreams come true. After all these years, I still feel excited when students begin walking through the door. There is nothing better than to be in the middle of teaching a tough topic and see the spark in a student's eye that tells me he/she gets it! A student recently said, "You make reading books interesting." For many of my pre-GED students, they have read their first book ever with me. In one of my ESL classes, I currently have 26 students who come from 12 different countries. Some evenings I sit in awe as they work together on assignments. Language and culture are not an issue. <br />
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As a long-time teacher in the same building, I have seen students come and go. Work, family, health, etc have taken them away. My job is to give them a purpose to come back. Because of language barriers, previous bad school experiences or lack of an education, self esteem, and many more reasons, my students fear their first time back in the classroom. Are they good enough? Will they look foolish? Will their weaknesses be exposed? My challenge is always to calm those fears and to find quickly where their strengths are so we can build on those. <br />
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Why do I keep doing the job I do when I could have the security of my own benefits rather than relying on my husband to secure them? Why do I plan everything around the hours I am given at school because if I take off work I won't be paid? It's because whatever small part I can play in making the lives of others better, in helping them reach their personal goals, or hearing for the first time that they are good at something school related, it is worth everything else.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-79114205443790849662016-04-22T09:47:00.005-07:002016-04-22T09:47:54.246-07:00Parents Abusing Text MessagingI love technology and the ability to stay close to those I love no matter where we are. However, I have concluded that I have officially been abusing my texting rights with my teenage daughter. Through text messaging I have become a nuisance, bully, and time waster. I am embarrassed to admit my texting habits but here it goes. I have sent messages about the following:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Instructions on how to close a front door after I came home to an empty house with the front door open wide</li>
<li>Steps on putting dishes away</li>
<li>Multiple messages a day about returning library books, turning in school work, asking off for a day of work, or making necessary phone calls</li>
</ul>
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Guess where all this finger energy got me? Absolutely nowhere. Well, that's not true. It has caused my daughter to resent conversations with me, to avoid my messages, and worst of all, they have created a heavy amount of weight on her shoulders. I have sent messages claiming they were an act of motherly love, but I have instead been telling my daughter I don't trust her to accomplish the tasks I am messaging her about.<br />
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Since my children were very small, I have always tried to act this question before making a decision as a mom, "How would I feel if someone was treating me this way?" Somehow, with the ease of technology and not seeing my daughter face to face, I have forgotten to ask this question. I would be furious if my boss or husband did this to me. It isn't fair to her. She deserves the right to leave the house without being harassed about details that we can discuss at home and to be trusted that she can accomplish tasks with little help from me.<br />
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A great thing happened last weekend. I was out of town and didn't text her once. Result: she took care of everything - dishes put away, dog fed, got to work, etc. She is a capable young woman and I need to respect that. So, I have made a new resolution to be more respectful to my daughter. I will now allow myself two texts a day that are started by me. One can be a reminder but the other one has to be something positive like "How's your day going?" or "Thanks for hanging out last night. I enjoyed it." My second text needs to be something that puts a smile on her face and lets her know I love her and trust her because despite my OCD habits, I do.<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-21747774621636089882016-03-22T07:55:00.000-07:002016-03-22T07:55:00.748-07:00Pain is a Stimulant for An IntrovertHaving an autoimmune disease like rheumatoid arthritis requires a person to constantly question what is going on in their life. Well, more so if you are an introvert. As an introvert, I have a constant conversation going on in my head about how I feel, why I feel the way I do that day, and whether or not there is something else I could be doing. I have grown to understand this about myself, but sometimes feel sad for those that care deeply for me because I know they don't quite get this about me.<br />
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When I took an Introvert or Extrovert quiz on <a href="http://www.quietrev.com/">Quiet Revolution</a>, a website for introverts and those who want to better understand us, I obviously scored as an introvert. One of the characteristics was "When you're in overly stimulating environments (too loud, too crowded, etc) you tend to feel overwhelmed." Pain is a stimulant for me, a noise in my head taking over my body and overwhelming me. I find it easier to not share my challenging days with those close to me because I know I don't have room in my head to think about their caring thoughts. It is just too much noise at the time trying to compete with the pain. When the pain starts to dissipate, I find it easier to share because some of the noise is gone. Another reason I hesitate to share my pain at the time is that as an introvert I tend to absorb the feelings of others and to be a good listener. So, while people want to be there for me, they almost always need to share their own experiences or struggles going on at the time. To me this is another stimulant that I don't have the energy for at the time. I know it hurts feelings when people find out after the fact that I was in a lot of pain, but when hurting, I only have the energy for one person: ME. I am not going to lie, it is an ongoing battle to shut people out of my life while I deal with my own reaction to the pain, but the better I understand my own needs, the easier it becomes. And just so you know, I am never really alone during a flare. I always have that introvert part of my brain talking me through it. Please be patient with me and know that I appreciate you being there for me when I am ready to share. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-32273971852728025022016-03-19T10:52:00.003-07:002016-03-19T11:58:41.185-07:00I Am ME, An Introvert!Growing up, I used to think I was a bit slow. People around me tended to quickly come up with answers for the teacher or responses to friends. For me, it always took a while. Before responding, I had to have a conversation with myself about the topic and then I could reply. But by the time I was ready to say something, it was too late, an extrovert had already quickly answered and we had moved on. <br />
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It wasn't until I was an adult teaching 5th grade that I finally started realizing there wasn't something wrong with me. My first four years of teaching, I had an awesome principal. He would often call me into his office and ask for my feedback on relations between teachers. He wanted to know how I saw the situation. He invited me to be on committees because, "You don't talk a lot, but when you do, it's important." I'll forever be thankful to Keith, my first principal, for having the confidence in me so that I could start seeing what he did in myself. <br />
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As life continued as an adult, I received a lot of the same feedback from co-workers, moms, friends, and family. The more I read about introvert personalities, the more I realized that these traits I thought made me weird as a child were what actually made me ME. Introverts often share the need for quiet, to think about what they want to say before saying it and are observant of the situations/feelings around them. Sometimes we seem quiet and disinterested in what is being shared, but actually, we are thinking hard about it.<br />
<br />
One of the things I love about being a mid-lifer is that you finally come to terms with who you are. You have seen the same responses from people and yourself over and over and know what to expect. This allows you to find comfort in who you are. I now realize ahead of time that I may hope to be invited to attend outings but will most likely turn down the invitation. I feel excited for others who love to travel and have multiple experiences in life, but know that for myself, I am quite content ordering take-out food and enjoying an evening of Netflix and wine with my husband. It doesn't mean I am not interested in the world, it just means that I find more comfort in quiet days/nights than the noise that comes with these experiences. I now know that when I am struggling in life, I need to process it before I can share it with others. Some may find this hurtful, but it's what I need. We are all different. We each have a place. I am glad that I have finally found mine and no longer feel like the "weird" one. I am just ME.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*If you are interested in whether or not you are an introvert or extrovert (or maybe both), take the <a href="http://www.quietrev.com/the-introvert-test/">quiz</a> at <a href="http://www.quietrev.com/">Quiet Revolution</a>, a place for introverts and those that want to understand us better. Here is what my Introvert description said:</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background: white;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Given the choice, you’ll
devote your social energy to a small group of people you care about most,
preferring a glass of wine with a close friend to a party full of strangers.
You think before you speak, have a more deliberate approach to risk, and enjoy
solitude. You feel energized when focusing deeply on a subject or activity that
really interests you. When you’re in overly stimulating environments (too loud,
too crowded, etc.) you tend to feel overwhelmed. You seek out environments of
peace, sanctuary, and beauty; you have an active inner life and are at your
best when you tap into its riches."</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-54105503294330696442016-03-18T06:56:00.003-07:002016-03-18T06:57:35.016-07:00Will Unscholing Create Successful Adults?Four years ago my family became a public school family. My daughter, who thrives on experiencing life, started school for the first time as a full-time freshman to get the full high school experience. My son opted to keep his "homeschool" status while taking a few electives his junior and senior year. We found our local high school very open to my children and first year parent teacher conferences revealed that my children's teachers had no idea they had not only been homeschooled, but allowed the freedom to learn on their own through <a href="http://www.holtgws.com/whatisunschoolin.html">unschooling</a>.<br />
<br />
As I finish editing a paper for my son's college mass communications class and look for photos to share with my daughter's school for senior celebration coming up in April, I can't help but reflect on some questions I asked myself when my son was three years old,<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Will my kids be successful in life if we <a href="http://www.holtgws.com/whatisunschoolin.html">unschool</a>?</li>
<li>Will they be happy as adults?</li>
</ul>
My answer to both questions: ABSOLUTELY. Did they encounter some struggles in high school? Definitely. But struggles are good. They challenge you to become a better you. Plus, what high school student doesn't have a struggle or two? As I look at my almost adult children, I see two people who are thinkers. They are both capable of figuring out the circumstances they are in and making the best of it. They don't follow what teachers, peers, or even their parents think is best for them. They have an internal ability to know what is best for themselves and they are ALWAYS right. It might not seem that way at the time, but each experience they have had, good or bad, has lead them to exactly where they need to be next in life. When I think about their futures as adults, I get excited. I see both of them working jobs that challenge them and give back to the world rather than focusing on money or power. They are both grounded and for teenagers, quite aware of their value systems. To me, that is a success!<br />
<br />
As children, my husband and I placed trust in our children to know when it was time to stop playing a video game, when it was their time to learn to read, how and why they needed to learn math, and when they needed time alone. We respected them as humans who knew their physical and mental bodies well. As much as possible, we left our agendas at the door so that they could figure out who they are as people. The benefits are even more amazing than I could have imagined all those years ago when I first read about the concept of unschooling and felt like I had finally found the missing piece to how I felt about learning. As their momma, I feel so honored knowing they are on their journeys to making this world a better place to live by sharing their unique talents, thoughts, and abilities.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-47132316346285613992016-03-17T07:59:00.001-07:002016-03-17T07:59:24.835-07:00Finding Positive in This Presidential Election<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;">The 2016 Presidential election is by far the one that has made me think hard about what I want for the USA. For the first time I have actively gone searching to find information about the candidates. From the beginning, my heart melted for Bernie Sanders and it hasn't swayed. I feel like he is a positive force for this country and I look forward to the long term changes he makes for this country whether he is the Democrat nominee or not. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;">While I feel a genuine hope for this country through the movement Bernie is creating, I have to be honest and say that this election has created numerous ups and downs for me. One minute I feel this country is on the right path and then the next minute I am seriously scared. I end up spending hours on Facebook discussing the election with friends and reading story after story knowing I should stop but not quite being able to. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;">After Mega Tuesday, my heart was broken that Bernie didn't do better than he did and that Trump did as well as he did. I felt hopeless. Then, my 19 year old son spent a little time with me. I love this generation. They have grown up without hate and see something better for their futures. He has always been one who thrives on learning about history and explained many things to me in a way that left me feeling hopeful again. H</span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;">opefully I am not putting words into his mouth because how he explains things is much more powerful than I can do here, and his understanding is much higher than my own. But, this is what I took from our conversation. I hope it gives you hope too.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><br /><span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;">Trump has made the US aware that we have a lot more work to be done in the area of rights/tolerance for others and this awareness will motivate many of us to work harder so that eventually the future will be better for all. This is a wake up call that we are far from where many of us (me) thought we were on racism/discrimination. As an educator, I knew we still had issues, but never in my craziest thoughts did I think the US was in as much trouble as we seem to be on this issue. But, we now have the opportunity to start talking about the problem and look at where and why so many Americans still feel this way and to work towards getting to the next level.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;">And, even if Bernie doesn't win, he has created a desire for a better USA with opportunities for all. The US might not be ready for Bernie, but he may be the one opening the door for others with Democratic Socialist ideas. My son reminded me that history doesn't happen overnight. It is a process and Bernie is helping to lead us along this new journey in history. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.08px;">I am a person who desperately needs to find the positive in the events that affect the lives of my family and myself. Sometimes I can find the answers on the internet or through friends, but sometimes I just need the fresh outlook of a young adult. Plus, when a hug sums up the conversation, I always win!</span></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2317860178654353446.post-50132514161557509732016-03-16T07:59:00.000-07:002016-03-18T06:58:09.962-07:00Dear Immigrant<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Dear Immigrant (Legal or Not),<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thank you so much for coming into my life. Many of you may have been a student of mine at some point in my 20 plus years as a teacher, but I feel it is I who has been the one learning and growing as a person because of you. My first year as a fifth grade teacher, I was fortunate to be placed in a school with a large population of immigrants. Many of you were larger than my 5'0 self which was a little intimidating at the time, but we smiled at each other and quickly started learning together. As an adult education teacher for the last 15 years, I have been "Teacher" as you took on the task of learning English. It hasn't been easy. Many of you have struggled with undiagnosed learning disabilities, lack of previous education, unstable work schedules, multiple jobs, unpredictable transportation, and family lives. Despite all that was going on in your lives, you have ALWAYS taken the time to greet me at the beginning of class with a smile and "thank" me before leaving. Throughout the years you have taught me how fortunate I am to have an education. I used to think an education was a given, but now realize it is a privilege that should be highly respected. Many of you have come to my class with little or no education and have made outstanding progress. You felt defeated many times, but you hung onto your dream of having an education and continued on. I wish I could say it was due to my amazing ability as a teacher, but I know it isn't. Many of you have also come to the US with more education than I could ever dream of possessing and have graciously accepted help from classmates who may have only five years of school, but whose knowledge of English was higher than your own. I love each of you for your determination to be your best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thank you for taking the time to share your language and culture with your peers and me. I apologize that I still can't pronounce many of your names and thank you for being so patient with me. While I have had up to nine different languages spoken in one classroom, I am ashamed to say that I still only know English and a small amount of Spanish. Over the years, I have received more gifts than I can count. Many of you have baked goods during special holidays so that I could be included in your time of celebration. Others have invited me into your home. You have made me the special guest. It is in your home that I have learned to appreciate even the smallest of material items. Many of you came with nothing and have worked hard to get where you are today. When you invited me to a party and I hesitated because my children were young or because they were teens, you always said, "Bring them. They are invited too." I love that family is a priority for you. (We have missed many US parties due to the fact that we didn't want to leave our children at home while we attended "adult only" parties.) A gift I will always hold close to my heart is when my father died. With many of my friends I felt like his death was uncomfortable and it was easier to move on with life than mourn for the emptiness I felt. However, my first day back with you, a long line was formed at my desk and each person spent a few minutes hugging me and struggling with their English to share a few special words with me. I felt so loved. I have shared so many stories with you over the years about my family and you have listened and shared your own stories. It is when we discuss our families that I know how much we have in common. We all want the best for our families, we worry about our kids, and we struggle to know if we are always making the best choices. Thank your for sharing intimate parts of your life with me. You have honored me over the years when you have stopped by my classroom to share that you passed a challenging class, that you didn’t need a translator at an appointment, when you became a citizen, or your child got good grades in school. You have shared new jobs and promotions, photos of your family, and photos of yourself without your headscarf so that I could know you better. In difficult times you have asked me to keep you in my prayers as your family was going through a tough time, shared personal stories of losing husbands and children, abuse, loss of parents you haven’t seen in years, ridicule in the workplace, etc. These stories are very personal and it has meant a lot that you trusted me with them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am a better person today because of the experiences we have shared over the years. Many times you may not even be aware of the impact you have on my life, but you do. I have admired you helping a classmate who speaks a different language to learn a new vocabulary word. I have sat in wonderment as you share how the person sitting next to you would have been your enemy in your homeland but is your friend in the US. You have torn down walls to be the best US citizens you can. I think about each of you often. I try to keep an open mind and remember that we each have our own past and present. I try to be like you and appreciate my government, education, and family. And like you, I try to smile each day, say "thank you", and never give up on my dreams. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This political season we are seeing a lot of hate towards immigrants in the US. It breaks my heart. I often wonder if those who criticize immigrants have had any experience with immigrants. I don't think they have because if so, they could never say the hateful things they do. When you hear these things, please know that we don't all feel this way. Many of us know the sacrifices you have made for your family and yourself, the kind hearts you possess, and the amazing citizens that you are to this country. Please know that despite what you see and hear in the news, many of us appreciate the long work hours you often put in, the respect you give your children’s teachers and your own teacher, the amazing neighbors you are, and the forever friends you are to many of us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">With much love and appreciation,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Teacher . </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13076282329093508289noreply@blogger.com0