Life Doesn't Let You Get Too Comfortable

Life never lets you get completely comfortable, does it?  For the last 15 years I have been working as adjunct faculty for two community colleges teaching adult education (English as a Second Language and Adult Basic Education).  I LOVE it!  I love the variety of students I am able to meet, the small but important lessons I am able to share, learning new things myself, and being surrounded by colleagues who want to make this a better world for everyone. The problem? Due to a screwed up state budget, both schools have cut their programs.  I am now facing a year of 50% of the classes I have had for many years.  Unfortunately, our family does depend on my income which means I need to get serious about finding a new full time job or finding a part time job to supplement my teaching jobs.

In addition to teaching adult education for the last 15 years, I have been busy raising my kids. I've always been passionate about motherhood.  While the kids still need me on occasion, they are growing up.  Between my job slowly dissolving and my kids growing up, I feel like I'm in limbo. What's next for me?  It's a scary uncertain time. I want my next phase of life to be just as rewarding as the previous one has been but have no idea what my skills allow me to do.  Plus, once you've been in a position of helping people as a career, it is pretty hard to give that up.

As I slowly prepare my heart and mind for a new job, I know what I don't want.  I don't want to go back to public education.  Teaching fifth grade was a lot of work and I don't have the energy for it anymore.  I don't want to be stuck in an office working on a computer all day.  I cringe every time I try to see myself there.  I like variety.  I also have a few things I want. After twenty some years of teaching, I want to continue helping others.  I love that part of my life.  I love knowing that I have helped many students who have been away from school for many years feel comfortable and component.  Also, after working odd hours for so long, I'd like a regular schedule that also comes with benefits, something I haven't had as adjunct faculty.

Each morning I wake up and ask for guidance on where I am supposed to be.  I search different career sites and try to see myself in different jobs. So far, nothing.  I know there is a place for me and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be long before I see myself in a place designed for my unique gifts and I can continue contributing to our family income while also making a small dent in a better world.   

I am curious, how have you transitioned into a new phase of life? 

My Calm is Moving Out

My oldest is picking up keys today to an apartment he will share with his girlfriend.  We have had many discussions about his moving out and I thought I was in a good place.  I am so proud of how he has thought through the many scenarios of how this move will effect him.  That is hard to do when you are in love.  He has had ups and downs about moving and I think has come to a mostly happy place, although leaving home is of course a big change for anyone. But, I've been happy for him.  Actually, I have been excited for him.  Until now. Even though he hasn't even taken his stuff yet, the house feels empty of his spirit. 

My son is the calm of this house. Whatever is going on, even if it is him I am upset with, it is he who I need to be around. He radiates a sense of calm. He listens and gives a tiny bit of advice. He hugs me. He reminds me so much of the calm I felt with my dad.  There aren't many people in the word like them.

Last night we discussed how this is just a new phase and we will have to figure out a new way of making our relationship work.  We've been making those adjustments through every stage of his growth.  The difference now is he won't be here every day.  I already miss standing by the coffee pot as he makes his coffee, having deep discussions. I already miss the lessons I have learned from him on being more open minded. And, I can't wait until Sunday night when he is here for dinner.